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Issue 44: Don’t be shallow with your compliments

Issue 44: Don’t be shallow with your compliments

Hi there nesstie,

When was the last time you complimented someone on something unrelated to how they look? I know “you look cute” or “cool shoes” can feel like an easy default, especially if it’s the first thing you notice. But… go deeper. Not only will it make someone feel seen, you’ll probably feel good, too.

Do you have a friend that’s a caregiver? Remind them that just because their work isn’t easily packaged in a shareable tweet or for public consumption, it doesn’t mean they aren’t a treasured gift. Did you read an article that resonated or made you feel a sense of comfort? Send the author a few kind words. Does your partner or roommate bring small joys into your day? Let ‘em know, and do so without the subtext that you’re fishing for your own sprinkle of flattery.

Just a reminder to be a little less lazy with the way we acknowledge and appreciate people. Make people feel seen because you actually see them, and not just the lewk they roll up in. (Though, a thoughtful comment on someone’s style is different from a note on how someone looks.)

It’s also a good practice in decentering yourself as the main character of your world. If you can’t think of one nice non-superficial way someone’s showing up in your life, you’re probably not paying enough attention.

Level up those compliments!

Melanie, editor at The Nessie

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